The world has changed, have you been left behind?
Society, glossy magazines, the Internet – all of these have combined to give women an unprecedented level of power and choice never before seen in the history of the human race.
Women are pickier than ever. Competition between males for their attention is fiercer than ever. The bar is set so high by images of square-jawed film-stars and pretty-boy underwear models. Women lust after this month’s latest teenage pop boy band, or reluctant vampire schoolboy.
It’s all about appearance. But there’s a HUGE problem…
What women ACTUALLY want, and what they THINK they want, are almost always two completely different things.
And as you guessed, I’m here to let you in on a little secret: What is it women REALLY want, but don’t even know themselves?
You see, the worst person you could possibly ask what pushes a female’s buttons, is a woman herself. Think about it: how many times do you do something you KNOW you shouldn’t, but you can’t seem to help yourself?
We all do it. Maybe in relation to eating junk food. Maybe it’s not going to the gym, even though we want to look like the cover of men’s health.
Well, I’m about to share with you one of the biggest secrets when it comes to becoming that guy that when women talk to you, for a few short minutes, they fall deeply and hopelessly in love (or ‘lust’ if you prefer 😉 with you. Even if they never would have given you a second glace walking past them on the street.
The secret is this: You need to be a certain kind of man. What I call: ‘The Total Package’
What the hell does that mean?
It means grabbing life by the balls and going after everything you ever wanted with a passion. Chasing your dreams, fighting for what you believe to be right and just. Not fearing failure, infact revelling in it. Staring the world in the face and shaping your life EXACTLY how you want it. Your stuff, on your terms.
When I was a wee lad, back in school, I lived and breathed this mentality. To me, being successful in the work you did was equated with success back then. I worked hard, I played hard. I was rubbish with women 🙂
Then one day it dawned on me… What exactly was the point in getting good grades, going to a posh, elitist University and working your bollocks off, to come out the other end with a mountain of debt and be tied to a desk working for the man the rest of your life?
My motivation to succeed crumbled overnight. I stopped turning up for classes at school. Teachers would phone my parents to ask why I hadn’t come to school that day. I would lay in bed till late in the afternoon, trying to escape the reality I had come to despise. I was in a bad place.
This lasted into University. I had done enough groundwork to get into a fairly well-respected course at Bristol, inspite of not going to school much for my last year (I did turn up for the exams, reluctantly I might add).
Two years down the line, I was at rock bottom. I was on a course I didn’t like, heading towards a career I didn’t want. I was, for all intents and purposes, depressed.
But then, something happened (bet you never saw this coming, right? 😉 I met a few key people, read a few books, made a few changes…
And all of a sudden, BOOM. I had a new found purpose. I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I knew what the point to everything was again. I had my passion back.
I got more shit done than ever before. Rewarding, fulfilling stuff. Stuff that made a difference, not just to me, but to other people too.
I had become ‘The Total Package’. Almost by accident, I had applied myself in several key areas that had increased my happiness and fulfilment (and ATTRACTION TO WOMEN) exponentially.
Pickup gurus always talk about social value. Rockstars, actors, politicians, business leaders – all are high value, and innately attractive to women. Well, to put things in those terms, the idea behind being the Total Package is to have so much VALUE that it is spewing forth from every action and sentence, oozing from every orifice of your body.
So much so that women want you without you really trying to impress them. It becomes nearly effortless. You just do some of your ‘normal everyday stuff’, and they swoon and scream like teenage girls at a boyband concert (ok maybe not that mental, but you get the picture).
As for specifics, here’s a few key examples from my life that I have found great benefit from investing a little bit of time and energy into developing a certain level of skill in doing:
(I’ve included a few relevant links to various stuff I’ve used or found on the web that I think you’ll find to be the cream of the crop in regard to mastering some of these areas and skills.)
The three biggest physical things you can change to be more attractive to the ladies are: your clothes; your shoes; and you hairstyle.
Women see a stylish, well groomed man as someone who has high value, and ‘knows what he is doing’. Whereas style blunders and ragged unkemptness (unless obviously deliberate like Russel Brand, for example), as something that makes a man look unattractive and a bit clueless.
In her mind it goes: If he can’t get his clothes and hair right, how can he possibly have any of the rest of his shit together? It may sound judgemental and harsh, and it is. But that’s the way of the world, no point crying about it, we just need to embrace it and act appropriately.
The second biggest thing a man can do to improve his physical attractiveness is to get in shape and pack on some muscle. I used to be pretty weedy when I was younger. Then I started weight training and packed on 30lbs+ of muscle mass.
All of a sudden, women would come up to me in clubs and touch my arms (something that had NEVER happened to me in my life before). The women at my job said things like, “Wow Dave, you’ve got really beefcake, I love it.” My girlfriend loved it, she said it made me more manly and ‘grown up’ looking (i.e. less like the scrawny little boy I was before). Bottom line, I got more attention and interest from women without even trying.
Martial Arts / Self Defense
Can you ‘handle yourself’? If you were out with a girl and someone pulled a knife and tried to mug you, would you be able to respond to the situation, deal with the attacker, and protect the girl?
If you can, a woman will lust over you. And you won’t have your wallet taken. Bonus 😉
Seriously though, women love a guy who they feel safe around. Someone they know can protect them. It gives them that warm fuzzy feeling. They adore it. If you can be that man, the protector, then it’s just another string to the naturally attractive bow.
I’ve been a student of martial arts for only a couple of years, but the increased confidence it has given me on the streets, and the obvious curiosity from women when it gets mentioned in passing has already had a huge effect.
The next three topics are all about performance of some kind. Women love performers. Think about it: in a room of a few hundred people, all eyes are on the performer. They are god.
I’ve played the guitar since I was 16 years old. Don’t let that put you off though, the beauty of the six-stringed little beastie is that ANYONE can learn to play it, and be good enough to play for people at a party or around a campfire within only a few short months.
The key is to pick some songs you like and just start to learn them. Anything, from Kings of Leon or Radiohead, to Bob Dylan or Johnny Cash, you’d be amazed just how EASY a lot of songs are to play with a bit of practice.
If you’ve ever played for a crowd, no matter how small, you’ll know how much attention this will get you from the ladies. They sit transfixed, and you give them the gift of emotions through your playing. This is a truly powerful, ancient, biologically-embedded way of communicating that transcends normal spoken conversation. Bottom line: women LOVE it.
The perfect companion to guitar. Being able to sing as well as play takes your performance’s effectiveness (in terms of attraction) to the next level.
Play and sing a powerfully emotional song to a woman, and watch her heart melt all because of you. It’s an incredible, powerful thing.
Like guitar, I believe anyone can sing. I didn’t think I could until I was about 23 when I started to focus on breathing a vocal technique.
This is a new one for me, but an old one for my friend (and business partner) Preston. He’s been learning magic since he was a teenager, before anyone on the ‘pickup scene’ had heard of mystery, or levitated a bottle in a club 🙂
I used to be sceptical that magic would even work on girls in real life. To me it seemed gimmicky and cheesy. But then, Preston told me he knew a few tricks, and I suggested we test it next time we went out.
Well, I ate my words that night. Bar after bar, group after group of girls were going wild, just from some card tricks Preston was performing. I couldn’t believe it. The reactions I was seeing were very strong (emotionally). The girls were obviously MASSIVELY into it.
That’s when I decided that I wanted to learn magic too 🙂
As I have been banging on about forever, women want a man who ‘has his shit together’. They want a man. Not a boy.
They want someone who knows what he wants in life, and knows how to go about getting it. They want a man who grabs life by the balls and gets shit done.
If you want to rise to the top in anything you do, you need to understand how people work. This is especially true in a meeting women / dating scenario.
So much of what people do is controlled by our emotions, our complex reward circuitry in our brains, and our bodies. We think we are in control, but alcoholism, drug addictions and abusive relationships tell a different story.
I read a lot of books, perhaps twenty to thirty a year. Amongst all these, one book stands out as helping me understand how people function more than any other…
Peak performance / Mastery
As I always say, if you’re going to do something, you might as well do it to the best of your abilities.
Have you ever stopped to consider how you learn a new skill? You could call it your ‘skill acquisition’ skill. Or meta-skill.
The thing is, we’re all so busy just trying to get the skills in the first place, that hardly any of us stop to think that maybe there might be a better, faster, more efficient and effective way of going about learning how to do something.
Think about it this way: If you could improve your ‘skill-getting’ abilities so that you could master something in half the time, I means you can all of a sudden now learn how to do twice as many things in a given time period as you could before. Sound useful? Hell yeah it does.
The book that got me started on the path of learning how to improve this area is called ‘Mastery’ by a guy called George Leonard. It’s a book that teaches you how to learn something, how to master it.
Women love leaders. With leadership comes power. Power has been called ‘The ultimate aphrodisiac’.
You don’t have to become president to experience the effects of leadership though.
Leadership can be as simple as deciding what you’re going to do together with a girl this weekend, sorting it out and making it happen.
Remember what your parents were like when you went on holiday as a child? How they decided where to go, planned the transport, came up with loads of cool stuff for you to do as a family that was fun.
That was leadership.
Getting your attitude to money sorted
Are you broke all the time? Do you have thoughts like, “I can’t afford that.” when you see something you really want?
I used to be exactly the same. In fact, I used to hate money. It was a strange thing.
I kinda wished money didn’t exist. I thought it was a necessary evil of the modern day. Yet, when I held money, or someone gave me money (as a birthday gift for example), I felt great, happy.
You could say it was a dysfunctional relationship 😉
What I realised, what that my whole attitude to money was holding me back from having the things I wanted, not in a materialistic way, but in a logistical, essentials-of-life way.
Let me explain. I was too poor to have a car, so I couldn’t get around. I was too poor to afford my own place, so I lived with my parents. Not the best for bringing high-class women back to.
I was unknowingly sabotaging myself in more areas of my life than I care to remember.
Until I got my attitude towards money sorted. Then things really started to change for the better.
I did this in dribs and drabs over the course of about 18 months or so, but guess what? Other people, far smarter than me, have gone through the same thing and distilled their knowledge and experiences down into something that can sort out your attitude to money in a MUCH shorter timespan.
Now I’m not saying you’ll be driving a Lexus up your mansion drive overnight, but the information out there is powerful to say the least.
Starting a business
This goes hand-in-hand with sorting your attitude to money. If you’ve ever been at your job and had that sinking feeling of, ‘why am I doing this? I come in every day and work, but what am I actually getting out of it other than my monthly paypacket? Isn’t there more to life than this? What the hell is the point of it all?’
I had these exact same thoughts. Then I read a book called Rich Dad, Poor Dad. And I realised what I had been missing all this time.
I wanted to start my own business. You work each day on something that could provide for you and your family for the rest of your lives. You make money whether you turn up for work or not, even when you are asleep at night. This was a powerful concept that really opened my eyes to what was possible.
And what you’re reading now is part of this. This site, this blog. Just one of the many things I’m involved in as an entrepreneur.
The Internet is by far and away the best place to start a new business. But you probably already know that. The reasons are many: minimal start-up costs, powerful free tools available to create websites, simple payment and shopping cart options that can be configured in a few hours.
Anyone can get started today, but it’s a jungle out there in terms of advice. There are a lot of snakes; many charlatans looking to sell you the dream and take your money but then don’t deliver on promises. I know, it’s happened to me on more than one occasion.
It’s one thing to get a woman into bed. It’s quite another to give her the night of her life and make her eager to come back for more 🙂