As an avid observer of people and their habits (especially those pertaining to dating), I have identified two truths about many women. The first truth is that there are many single women out there who want to meet men. The second truth is that many of these single women who claim that the want to meet men hesitate or pass up opportunities to do so.
If you live the life of a recluse, sitting in a cubicle or office alone all day, emailing and texting instead of engaging in actual verbal conversations with coworkers and clients, immediately plugging your iPod in the moment you enter the subway to head home from work, then retreating to an empty house where you stay all night, painting your toenails over a bottle of Pinot Grigio while watching Sex & the City On Demand; I have news for you. You’re never going to meet a man. I have more news for you. It’s you’re own fault. It’s a tough pill to swallow, I know… But trust me, it’s a lot tougher (and more expensive) to swallow Zoloft for the rest of your life because you’re depressed and alone.
I take that back. If we absolutely must follow the “never say never” rule, then you could possibly meet a guy while being a hermit. If he’s someone you work with or a classmate, then love might evolve organically. Otherwise, you’re S.O.L.
I’m not suggesting that you head out to the clubs every night in your tightest dress and highest heels. I’m not suggesting that you get online and sign up for every Meet-Up group in your city. I’m not suggesting using an online dating service either. Getting out and giving yourself the opportunity to meet people can be as simple as saying “Yes” the next time your girlfriend invites you to happy hour or to be her wing (wo)man at her cousin’s wedding. (FYI: Weddings are GREAT places to meet men).
Let’s go back to college Marketing 101: The Four P’s.
You are the product. Your goal is to sell yourself… not in the literal sense, unless the idea of incarceration turns you on, in which case, I don’t know why you’re even reading this blog post.
You must identify your own value. Know your worth. Be confident about how fabulous you are. Most men are attracted to a woman’s confidence. Those who are not, are not the types of men you should be looking to meet anyway. They are the types who only do well with codependent women with low self esteem, but I digress.
You must position yourself in places at which the type of guy you’re looking to meet will be likely to pop up. If you like artsy people, then try going to an art exhibit/happy hour. (For my DC-dwellers, Phillips After 5 is worth looking into). If you are looking for a lawyer with impeccable style, then you may want to check out an upscale restaurant in the business center of your city where a lot of lawyers work (Another suggestion for Washingtonians would be the Prime Rib, which was so obviously decorated to appeal primarily to men). Be strategic… in life (and dating) it’s all about being in the right place at the right time.
Remember, you can meet the man of your dreams ANYwhere at ANY time. ANYwhere includes the grocery store, the gym, Starbucks and the line at the DMV. I will not suggest that you get dolled up and dawn your Sunday finest, but I will suggest that you be open to conversation and to the opportunities that could pop up in the most random of circumstances.
Now that you’ve figured out where to go, you must package yourself accordingly and put your best foot forward. Dress appropriately for the event to which you are going. Be open to conversation – being antisocial will immediately disqualify you from the game. Most importantly: carry yourself with confidence and a smile. Flash those pearly whites! Even if they’re not exactly white… I’m sure no one will notice. You’d be surprised at the difference a smile can make.
Believe me, meeting people isn’t as hard as it seems. It all starts with a conscious willingness to leave your cave!