99 Relationship Red Flags Every Woman Should Know

That’s right, 99. Some are my own, some are culled from other sites, all I agree with. Well, most; some are jokes, obviously.

As you read these, remember the thing about red flags: they are warnings of potential problems, not necessarily deal-breakers. No one is perfect, so you will probably have a red flag or two with just about any guy. It’s when you start having four, five, eight, ten red flags that you need to think very hard about where your relationship can go.

You might not agree with all of these. I’m okay with that. We all have different tolerance levels; one woman’s red flag is another woman’s dealbreaker and a third woman’s non-issue. Like most things, it’s subjective.

Now, let’s git ‘er done.

1. He says, “Let’s git ‘er done.”
2. He’s rude to the waitress.
3. He’s habitually late.
4. He disparages his own family.
5. He talks too much about money, politics or religion.
6. He refers to his exes as bitches, whores, fat pigs, c**ts, psychos, etc.
7. The breakups were all their fault, not his.
8. He can’t drink without getting drunk.
9. He wants lots of high-fives. “You like beer, too? High-five!”
10. None of his relationships lasts longer than a couple of months.
11. He’s been married and divorced more than once.
12. He’s hiding something. “Only call me on this number.”
13. He doesn’t hold the door, help you with your coat, walk you to the car, etc. No manners.
14. He takes phone calls during your date.
15. He refuses even to try sushi.
16. He expects you to split the check on the first date.
17. He’s “not really into books.”
18. He’s never traveled beyond his home state.
19. He talks about his mother all night.
20. He talks about his ex-wife all night.
21. He talks about Jesus all night.
22. He tells you why he’s going to the restroom. “I gotta drain the weasel!”
23. He refers to things he doesn’t like as “gay.”
24. He routinely uses words like “fag,” “queer,” “dyke,” or “rug muncher” to describe a gay person.
25. He uses racial slurs or tells racist jokes.
26. He has bad hygiene.
27. He’s too primped: manicure, eyebrows waxed, hair bleached, etc.
28. He has no sense of humor.
29. He hates kids and animals.
30. He has no hobbies. Watching football doesn’t count.
31. He wears skinny jeans
32. He wears guyliner.
33. He one-ups you a lot.
34. He knows everything and won’t let you forget it.
35. He talks about himself all the time and asks few questions about you.
36. He isn’t open to points of view that differ from his.
37. He frequently answers, “It’s complicated” in reply to a question from you.
38. He won’t see a “chick flick.”
39. He starts lobbying for sex on the first date.
40. He asks to borrow money.
41. He won’t make a move even when it’s time to make a move.
42. You’ve dated for several months and haven’t met any of his friends, family or co-workers.
43. You catch him in a lie.
44. He sometimes won’t answer your phone calls or return your texts.
45. He criticizes you early on.
46. You have to initiate every date.
47. He calls you his girlfriend by your second date.
48. He comments too much on what or how much you eat.
49. He never wants to go out. “Let’s stay in.”
50. He has Playboy centerfolds hanging on the back of his bedroom door.
51. He tells you how much money he makes.
52. He tells you what he spent on his home.
53. He tells you what he spent on his car.
54. He tells you what he spends on hookers.
55. He has a child(ren) that he “doesn’t see that much.”
56. He lives at home and seems to be in no hurry to leave.
57. He doesn’t know how to do laundry, mop a floor, clean a tub, or make a simple dinner.
58. He uses the phrase “women’s work.”
59. He never invites you to his place. What’s he hiding?
60. He’s generally negative; everything sucks.
61. He likes the mirror too much; he’s vain.
62. He’s a narcissist: everything is about him. What you said earlier about men, were you talking about him?
63. He drives a fancy car but rents his home.
64. He drops a lot of not-so-subtle brags on himself: “I hated to take a break from writing my memoirs and training for the decathlon, but when a good friend like Matt Damon asks you to help him build thatch huts for the poor and disenfranchised in Sri Lanka for a month, how do you say no?”
65. He has more clothes than you.
66. He refers to sex as “hitting it.”
67. His ex is still in the picture.
68. He checks out other women when he’s with you.
69. He’s vague about what he does for a living.
70. He’s not interested in physical activity beyond sex.
71. He talks trash about everyone, even people he calls friends.
72. He gossips too much.
73. He says you remind him of his ex.
74. He says you remind him of his sister.
75. He says you remind him of his mom.
76. He says you remind him of Mick Jagger.
77. His friends are jerks.
78. He’s sensitive–too sensitive. Coffee commercials should not make anyone cry.
79. His life is filled with endless drama.
80. He has never been to the theater, symphony, ballet or opera. The Pink Floyd laser show does not count.
81. He belittles your opinion.
82. He blames his bad temper on you. You provoked him.
83. You have wondered (even once) if he has a drinking problem.
84. He can’t be serious about anything.
85. He’s never wrong about anything. He’ll say “I’m not perfect,” yet he never admits mistakes.
86. He openly admits being unfaithful to an ex.
87. He openly admits liking country music.
88. He has trouble articulating his feelings.
89. He has trouble looking you in the eye.
90. He seems threatened by your relationships with other men and makes jokes about them. “Who’s that, your new boyfriend?”
91. He disappears for days or weeks at a time.
92. He constantly quotes his therapist.
93. He’s 45 but only dates women who are 25 and younger.
94. He makes a comment about your weight.
95. He can’t go a single day without working out, ever.
96. He can’t hook up the cable to the DVD to the TV without printed instructions.
97. He owns anything at all with a Confederate flag on it.
98. He spits in public.
99. Nothing is ever good enough: “Yeah, that was good, but you should have done this or that or the other.”

Got any to add? Of course you do. Let’s hear them.