It makes me so sad that there are so many of us out there. We know we come with a lot of craziness and quirks, but we come with a lot of good qualities too. Good and bad, take a look at what really lies behind the ways abused women love differently.
Ways that Abused Women Love Differently
1. Imperfections mean little to us.
We accept you for who you are. We don’t care that you squeeze the toothpaste wrong. We know that there are worse things than that. Those things really don’t matter.
2. We’ll test you at some point.
We know that you love us, but we want to know that you’ll be there when it counts. Someone in our lives saw what was happening and allowed the abuse to go on. In our own way we will make sure that you’re reliable. We’ll argue with you at the cashier and see if you’ll pay or be pushed by our assertiveness and let us pay. We just want to make sure you’re not going to stand there if someone you respect abuses us. Extreme, I know, but true.
3. We can be fickle.
We’ve been in terrible relationships and so if it feels like you’re giving up or frequently irritated, we will leave. Our priority is that we never want to feel the way we did back then. We can’t facilitate our emotions well, so if you yell at us we will leave with our broken hearts.
4. Love means something completely different to us.
When we finally say the “L” word, it doesn’t mean we like you. It means that we’ll tackle a burglar to let you escape. We will be the ones that will protect you from abuse.
5. We can be clingy.
When we finally find the person that has our backs and protect us, we are in awe. We know how rare that is. We’re so happy for what seems (from our perspective) to be a miracle, we will do anything to keep you.
6. We are action people.
We show rather than say. Words have been unreliable for us. Just because someone says, “I love you,” that doesn’t mean that their actions will follow through. More than our words, we will show you that we love you by taking out the trash or waking up early with you.
7. We come with a ton of baggage.
Chances are multiple people that we trusted, shoved us around or told us that we were trash. It hurt us. When we do something weird, it probably traces back to our hurtful past. You’re going to be tired of hearing that from us, but there’s nothing we can do about it. We’ll try hard to move past that. Just promise that you’ll be with us.
8. We panic with passive-aggressive people.
If you don’t show emotion and don’t communicate with us, we’re going to think you’re mad at us. We’re going to panic. Even if you don’t abuse us, it’ll take us back to a memory when we were. And in the end, if you do become mad without giving us a hint we might just shut down on you.
9. We’re optimistic about life.
We’ve been able to get out of a tough situation. We’ve become stronger. We know we’ll get through things. We’re a damned good teammate to have during the hard times because we can relate. What more, we’ve learned to smile through it all, so whether you need us to tell you jokes or sit down and hug you, we’re patient with all of that.
10. The other L word.
We are fiercely loyal. Once you have our trust we don’t let it go easily. Even after a couple of years of not seeing each other we can pick up right where we left off. If you were there for us at any time, we’ll never forget.
Give us a chance and don’t walk away from us. There’s always a reason for the quirky shit that we do. Sometimes all we need is someone to point out that we’re being ridiculous, or someone to just give us a hug.