How to Date Before the Divorce is Final.

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Is dating before your divorce is final a good idea? There are many who wonder about this question. Many soon to be divorcees want to date for various reasons. They might feel lonely and want that extra company, or perhaps they have met someone with whom they enjoy spending time, or maybe they just want to get back at their ex. 

Whatever the reasons, if you are a soon to be divorcee contemplating dating, make sure to keep reading this article!  We will discuss how to date before your divorce is final.

Before deciding about dating before your divorce is final, you might be wondering if it is even legal to do while you are still actually married. Your lawyer might advise you not to date before your divorce is final. That is because, though most judges won’t “punish” you for dating while you’re still married. According to the CEO of Online Divorce, by dating before your divorce is finalized, you run the risk of complicating matters.

Where things could get complicated quickly is if your spouse reacts unfavorably to the news that you have started dating again before the marriage has officially ended. They may become really angry which could muddle the entire divorce process. Your spouse might accuse you of having an affair which could also make the divorce process more expensive and time-consuming. Your spouse’s lawyers could call your new flame to testify in court. Your spouse’s lawyers could also argue that you are giving money, gifts and so on to your new partner. Lawyers could use this in court to argue against you. Taking all this into consideration, you really need to think very carefully about dating before you get your divorce finalized. You might end up with a whole host of issues that you could have avoided. 

So how do you date before your divorce is final?

If you are still determined to date even though your divorce is not yet finalized, then this is how to go about it.

  • Make 100% sure that you are ready.

If you still feel emotionally vulnerable or would like to have a rebound, then reconsider dating before you finalize your divorce. Dating can make you feel even more insecure than you already feel. If your new fling decides to break it off, this could really hurt your feelings. It’s also not nice for your new friend to keep on hearing about your ex. It could make them feel that you are not over your ex.

It would be wiser to focus on healing, and getting your own feelings under control. The amount of time needed to fully heal emotionally can vary. For some people, their marriage was over years ago. They might not have any emotional attachment to their ex. Only you will know where you are emotionally.  If you still feel emotional, hurt, angry, or vulnerable, it is best to wait a while before you start to date again.

  • Don’t introduce your new love to your kids just yet

Your children are probably also going through a whole range of emotions. Introducing your new lover to them at this vulnerable stage could be a really bad idea. Letting your kids meet someone new too soon could cause psychological issues. Remember, your children are hurting too. They love both their parents. Inviting someone new into their lives could make them feel more pain. Make sure your children are ready for this next step before you jump into a new relationship.

  • Don’t lie about going through a divorce

Honesty is the best policy in any relationship. Be honest about going through a divorce. You don’t need to go into a huge amount of detail, such as all the nitty-gritty of the divorce, but your date does need to know the truth. This will help build trust in your new relationship.

  • Don’t date your ex’s friends

This is a huge no-no! You can just imagine how this could complicate things. Dating your ex’s friends could cause jealousy and cause all sorts of complications to your divorce proceedings. Even if you are angry, try putting yourself in your soon to be ex’s shoes. How would you feel if they were dating your sister, your brother, your best friend or work colleague? Probably a bit jealous and hurt.

  • Try not to fall in love too quickly

You are just coming out of a marriage. You might have been with your ex for a few years. Take this time to find yourself. It is so easy to get caught up dreaming about finding new love, and true love; but take your time. Falling in love too quickly could lead to more heartache. It takes time to truly get over your ex, and that’s okay.

  • Remember no one is perfect.

If you do decide to date before your divorce is final, remember not to have unrealistic expectations. No one is perfect. Perhaps, whoever you are dating seems perfect, but everyone has their flaws and quirks. It would be unwise to think it was only your ex who had issues. Once those initial butterflies and fireworks wear off, you are stuck with the person. So make sure that your new love interest is genuinely a good person and not just someone that is pretty to look at.

  • Dating can be hard

When it comes to dating before your divorce is finalized, you might wonder where to even begin meeting people. Dating can be hard. The way we meet people in this day and age is very different from how it was in the past. You might want to try a dating site. If you don’t meet somebody right away, don’t be disheartened. You could end up meeting the right person sooner or later.

Another thing to consider is that dating can be hard in the sense that you might struggle to get used to someone new after a serious relationship. Your date will have new mannerisms, behaviors, and personalities. There could be an adjustment period as you get to know this new person. They could be completely different from your ex. That might be a breath of fresh air, or it could make you feel even more heartache.

  • Focus on you

This might sound selfish, but now is the time to be a little bit selfish. In order to heal from a divorce, you will need to focus on yourself. Rediscover yourself and what you want out of life. If you know who you are, you’ll have a better chance of meeting the right person when you start dating again.

In Conclusion

There is no law against dating while going through a divorce, but remember that it might be better to wait. If you can’t wait, then follow the above tips for happy dating!