Is your partner bored with you?
You know the signs. We’ll go over them in this blog.
I’ll also tell you how to re-spark your partner’s interest—in a most unexpected way. Keep reading, there’s more…
Signs that Your Partner Isn’t Into You (Right Now)
What can be more heartbreaking than to think our partner has suddenly lost interest in us?
Where once he or she hung on your every word, wanted to spend time with you, and made you feel important to them, now it’s…
Ho hum. Blending in with the wallpaper.
There are a few signs that could indicate your partner has lost interest in you:
- Filling their days with activities that don’t include you
- Phone calls becoming more widely spaced apart
- Not making plans in advance with you for the weekend
- No longer asks about your day or other important events
- Doesn’t seem to be listening to you when you talk
Now, let’s look at those from another angle. While these can indicate your partner has lost some of that early interest in you, it can also signal something else:
- Your partner has become comfortable with you
While that’s good on the one hand, on the other—maybe he or she is taking you for granted, and that has to stop.
Failed Bids for Attention
When you get that first inkling that your partner’s interest in you has begun to fade, you may panic. You want that attention back now… you don’t want to lose this person you love, right?
So maybe you lash out in fear, frustration and anger. You yell to get your partner’s attention. You get a response: your partner gets as heated as you. Now you have their attention, but it’s negative attention. And contrary to what you may think, negative attention is NOT better than no attention at all.
Or, you go to the other end of the spectrum: you curl up into yourself and give the silent treatment. This pushing away may serve to get your partner to give you chase—let them worry about losing you and your attention, right?
Both of these methods of trying to regain your partner’s attention may work in the very short term, but they are still failed bids for attention. That’s because they create a sort of panic reaction—and panic fades over time.
You need to go for a winning bid for attention.
The Weird Method of Getting—and Keeping—Your Partner’s Attention
If you want to regain your partner’s attention, and not have to resort to the screamfest or silent treatment methods, then you need to do this:
At first, you may think that looks suspiciously like the silent treatment, but here’s how it’s different…
You do it without attitude.
Let me explain. Sometimes, you can expend a lot of energy into trying to make a relationship work by giving it an overabundance of attention—and your partner may get used to you doing that and become a bit lazy in doing the same. They’re used to your getting overly passionate about it, by initiating an argument when things get dicey, maybe, or going into silent mode to show your hurt feelings. Bizarre as it sounds, this lets your partner know you still care and are invested.
Now, if you pull away a bit, you become a mystery to your partner. Maybe you sign up for a class, or meet up with your best friend for a drink on a Friday night instead of being available to your partner. Suddenly, your partner—who thought they knew everything there was to know about you—is second-guessing that notion. And, they are getting a taste of what it would be like without you.
The idea here is, they need to invest in the relationship and stop taking you for granted or think of you as “ho hum”, or they just may lose you.
Strangely, this method tends to draw people closer to you. Weird, but true.
My best to you in regaining your partner’s interest.