When your man says something that you don’t agree with, do you think he’s just flat-out wrong?
And then, do you try to convince him as to why exactly he is wrong?
There are a lot of couples who are currently miserable with each other, but they can’t pinpoint what the problem is with their relationship. They can’t seem to agree on anything, their points of view can be wildly divergent, and they wonder if they’ve made a mistake getting together in the first place.
Is that you and your partner?
I’m going to explain to you today how to do a perspective swap, and three tips for how to do it. Obviously, the perspective you and your partner currently have isn’t working out too well for you. Keep reading…
Why Can’t My Partner Think Just Like Me?
Isn’t it intriguing to think back on your early days of dating and remember how you hung on each other’s every word… eager to learn more about how each other thought about life?
During those early days, you liked that about each other—that you each had your own perspective. It was exciting, wasn’t it?
Then, you got comfy with each other… and something changed: you started to look at these differences of opinion as a bad thing. Suddenly, where you once found your partner charming, you now think that your partner is simply… wrong.
And it is this perspective, that your partner is wrong, that can destroy your relationship.
If you are nodding your head here, that when you don’t agree, you simply dismiss your partner is in the wrong—it’s time for a perspective swap.
Here are 3 tips to help you change your perspective:
Tip #1: Recalibrate your Response
When your partner says something you don’t agree with, you will need to hit your internal pause button and say this to yourself: “Just because my partner doesn’t agree with me, doesn’t mean my partner is wrong.”
Not everyone in the world shares the exact same ideas, views and opinions as everyone else—including your partner. Think differently than one another doesn’t make either of you wrong. It simply means you have different opinions, and so you need to modulate your response to reflect that.
Tip #2: Accept Your Partner as an Individual
Remember that you once found your partner’s ideas and opinions exciting: they weren’t exactly yours, and maybe they made for some stimulating conversation.
You fell for your partner for the individual that they are. Do you really want a carbon copy of yourself? If not, then remind yourself that you value your partner as the unique creation, the one-of-a-kind individual that he or she is.
Tip #3: Remind Yourself How You Value Your Partner
You may get frustrated when you and your partner don’t agree, but don’t slam the door of your heart on them just because your views aren’t in 100% alignment. Remember that you value this person, and therefore their perspective on things. You may not always agree, but you’re both still valuable for what you bring to the relationship.
My best to you in changing your perspective so you can focus on building a loving relationship.