How to Make Good First Date Conversation


So, what exactly makes good first date conversation?

Should you make small talk?

Or should have a deep, meaningful conversation while dating?

This is similar to questions like “What do I talk about with girls?” or “What do I say on a date?” We’re going to give you some first date conversation advice that is a bit different from the usual advice.

Instead of small talk or deep conversations where you reveal everything about yourself, we’d like to look at the hidden third option that so many guys overlook: Having a light, playful, fun conversation.

First, let’s look at why we recommend against both small talk and deep conversation.

Why Small Talk Isn’t Good First Date Conversation

Guy: So… How’s the weather outside?

Her: Bad. It’s rainy. Just like inside my heart, because you suck at making date conversation interesting.

Guy: Oh.

Her: Yep.

Guy: So… How about them Yankees?

Why is this not good?

  • It’s boring for her.
  • It makes you seem boring.
  • It doesn’t make her laugh.
  • It defuses any romantic charge that might have existed between you two.
  • It gets everyone absolutely nowhere.

Why Being “Deep” Isn’t Good First Date Conversation

A good first date conversation does NOT go like this: “Wow, this food is really… Food. Um. Do you like food?”

Guy: “I love deep philosophy. I really want an intelligent girl who is passionate about those kind of things. I’m really passionate. About life. And my career. And everything. Really. What are your views on philosophy?”

Her: “I… Err…”

Guy: “…Well, uh, you know, I think it’s important to stay up to date about current events like…”

Her: “I’m leaving now.”

Guy: “Wait, don’t go! Let me tell you all about my opinions on religion, politics and my pet iguana, Zulu!”

Why is this not good?

  • It’s boring for her.
  • It makes you into the guy she doesn’t want to date.
  • It doesn’t make her laugh.
  • It’s too serious.
  • It reveals way too much about yourself. Guys going overboard telling women personal information is a no-no. No happy couple is happy because the guy messed up and blew his mystery and took the all romantic charge out of the interaction on the first date. Or second. Or ever.

Keep It Light, Playful and Fun For Good First Date Conversation

(On a first date with a woman you met from a direct, confident approach on the street.)

Her: “So, how often do you talk to random women on the street?”

You: “What? Women on the street? Who, me?”

Her: “Yeah, you.”

You: “Why… I’m way too shy to do something like that…” (Delivered in an obviously joking manner.)

Her: “Hahaha! Yeah, right!”

You: “So how about you? How often do you chat with strangers on the street?”

Why is this good?

  • She’s laughing. If she’s a clever girl, you’re laughing. People who laugh together bond.
  • There’s an emotional charge. Humor is great ‘people glue.’
  • It retains personal information / mystery. Rather than vomiting personal information all over the girl, you can keep things fresh by using any questions she directs at you as a chance to make her laugh.

Here we have a girl who’s laughing and have a fun time, plus a guy who’s keeping things light, playful and funny. This is how we like our first date conversations to flow. It makes everything so much more fun (for both parties) and a lot more easier. Best of all, this is what has been tested to work the best with really high quality women.

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Alex Wise served over 5 years as relationship expert helping women from around the world figure out the men in their love lives from an honest, male perspective. Alex is one of the contributors and editors for dating website. He is passionate about thought leadership writing, and regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and online dating communities.