It’s a Simple Question With a Complicated Answer
Mr. Right Isn’t Really Mr. Right… He’s Mr. Close Enough
Most of the time, anyway… The odds of finding the perfect man are slim to none. That is why there are so many divorces these days. Did you know that over 50% of marriages end in divorce? It’s true. And now you know why. The women who thought they had found their Mr. Right, or Mr. Perfect were just kidding them selves and when they finally figured it out, they got divorced.
So, now that you women out know this sad fact, it is time to find your Almost Mr.. Right or Almost Mr. Perfect. THAT guy really is out there, and once you get a hold of the feelings of resentment you now harbor because of the Prince Charming stories you have believed all your life and let those feelings go, you will finally be able to put them aside, forget they were even a part of your life and finally find you an Almost perfect man to settle down with.
So How DO You Find an Almost Mr. Right?
Well, once you have given up the Prince Charming is coming to sweep you off your feet” dream, it is easy to search for the almost Mr Perfect. As a matter of fact, it’s even easier than you thought. This is because when you aren’t looking for perfection, there are more guys out there that will meet your standards. You see, the guy situation hasn’t really changed, you have. Your feelings change once you find out the truth so your standards are lowered a bit, knowing that there is n one out there to meet perfection that you required. That’s why you could never meet anyone, your standards were too high and unrealistic. Now things will be different.
Take a look in all the places you have looked before, this time look without the feeling that you have to find the perfect guy or your Mr. Right. This time you are looking with your new found truth and standards. Guess what? How much do you want to bet that the guy numbers and the situation has almost doubled? It’s true. And it’s been proven.
So What is Preventing Me From Finding A Guy Now?
If you have changed your way of thinking and have tried the way listed above, then there just might still be something going on that you don’t realize. And that something is the “better than nothing” relationship or BTN relationship. Have you found that since you found out the truth about the “perfect” guy never existing, you have found an abundance of guys, but they are all losers? The guys you have maybe met online or out somewhere with your girlfriends, are they a little worse for wear when it comes to what you are looking for?
In this case, you may have lowered your standards a bit too much. Instead of looking for the Mr. Almost Perfect, you have given in too much and are actually looking fr Mr. Looser at Life. This is almost as bad of a place to be in because instead of not finding anyone to fit the bill of your perfect man, you are fining too many guys who fit, but they never work out. You are not happy with them, or they are not good enough for you, even though you think they might be. .
So What To Do About It?
Well, because you went a little too far down the rungs of your perfect scale, you need to turn it up a notch again. But not too far because you don’t want to get caught being way over the top again… No, what you need to do is find a happy medium between the two types of standards.
Here’s what you need todo: Make a pro and con list. List all the standards for the perfect man on the “pro” list. Then list all the standards of the un-perfect man, the one too low on the rungs, on the con list. Then take a few qualities from each list that happen to match and that is your middle ground.
For example, a quality form each list may be, he has a house. Even though it might not be an estate the size of Washington, it is still a house. Then another may be job related. While the lower standard would be no job, the high standard would be owns his own company, the middle ground would be “at least has decent paying secure, steady job. Job security is better than no job, and a little bit of money is better than none at all, but neither is as good as owning your own company. So, you take the middle ground standard and see what you come up with. It should be a livable list of standards.
You Will Find Someone!
Eventually, if you put your mind to it, you will find someone to settle down with. The same could be said for the perfect man as well, it’s just that the chances of finding hat Mr. Right are a lot slimmer than finding Mr. Here Right Now. And sometimes, if you think about it, having a Mr. Perfect only works if he thinks you are his Mrs. Perfect too. If not, it is all for nothing and will wind up being a miserable marriage and maybe ed up in divorce anyway. That is why it is always better to set your standards at a level that is actually obtainable at some level. Because if not, you might just wind up like the lady from the first Madea movie, with the perfect man, a beautiful house and all the money she could ever want or need-but in a completely loveless and miserable marriage. And she aid for it with her happiness, and almost her life. That is something you want to avoid at all costs, believe me when I say that.
You Might Just Get Lucy
I will tell you a secret about me in the hopes it will help you somehow. I was married when I was 17 to a guy who had all that. A year later, we got lucky and moved to the Hamptons in NY with our daughter. And ini a very short amount of time, the love faded and the magic disappeared. Then I wound up going through the same thing the lady in the movie did. Every last bit of it. So, then we separated and I went the complete opposite direction and got messed up with this one guy who almost ruined my life. I got into drugs and lost everything, almost including my life. Somehow, although to this day I am still not sure how, I was able to recover from that phase of my life. Then, 3 years later,after I had stopped looking for love because I had given up on it, it fell into my lap out of the clear blue sky. And now, almost 3 years later and still together, we are about to get married and buy a house together. He turned out to be my Mr. Right. The real thing, not the Mr. Close Enough, but the man I prayed for all my life.
Moral of the story? Don’t give up! One day when you stop looking, when you have all but given up on finding that one person, he just might fall into your life unexpectedly one day without warning. Mine did. Like I said earlier, it’s been proven, the guys double in numbers. But what I didn’t say, is you never know what can happen if you have enough hope in your life. Which is why I also sign my posts the way I do… So, with that said, here it goes…