Facial hair can be the ultimate sign of manliness, although there are at least six weird beards men should be careful before wearing. Beards in general can backfire, scaring small children, puppies—and even women—away from your face. If you do choose a beard, keep it groomed and free of macaroni and meat chunks. Also think long and hard before you choose one of these weird beard options.
The ZZ Top:
Men definitely should be careful before wearing this weird beard that is thick, frizzy and reaches down the middle of their chests. Hazards include getting the beard caught in elevator doors, bicycle spokes and the garbage disposal. There is also the risk of being misidentified as a tall mutation of Cousin It. One more risk is attracting the boozy, busty, floozy-type women that double as groupies for the band—although that could actually be a benefit, depending on your tastes.
The Devil Point:
While certain women find such a weird beard alluring—such as those that belong to the community coven—many others may be turned off by this small, neat triangle dangling off your chin. It is not the weird beard to choose if you’re attending a big Roman Catholic wedding, especially if you happen to don a red suit with a forked tail attached.
The Soul Patch:
The soul patch is a small fluff of hair that often begets the question: “What the heck is stuck to your chin?” This weird beard is especially hazardous if you have a boyish face as it can look like the full extent of facial hair you are able to grow. It can also be easily mistaken for dryer lint, clothing fuzz or a wayward chunk of dog or cat hair that somehow floated toward your face and decided to stay.
The Fu Manchu:
This weird beard features two long points that stretch down on either side of your chin. Unless you are planning to star in the latest martial arts flick or happen to run a Dojo studio for kids, most guys cannot pull off this weird beard without looking, well, stupid.
The Octopus:
The octopus is simply a longish, full beard that you stylize by pulling eight different sections of the hair into distinct points emanating from your chin. You need gel for this look, which automatically makes the weird beard crunchy, flaky and likely to dip its tendrils into your salad or soup.
The Brad Pitt:
Even if some say Brad Pitt can pull off any look, a weird beard he sported in 2010 was the exception to the rule. His once clean-shaven chin was suddenly accosted by a grayish, scruffy puff of hair that looked like something that just skittered out from beneath the fridge. The weird beard got worse when he decided to decorate it with little rubber bands of the sort you usually find attached to orthodontic devices.
