Dating? Beware the Man-Child!


Dating for me is a means to an end. I want to find THE guy, the right guy, but he’s probably not going to materialize on my front porch with a bouquet of daisies and a ring (sigh). Inevitably I am going to have to weed through a bunch of toads, tadpoles and other assorted amphibians to find my man. So I fight the good fight: dating websites, blind dates, meeting guys around town. I’m not desperate or anything, I just want to meet a nice guy with a great sense of humor and some integrity. Pretty reasonable right?

After a few rounds of lousy first dates and zero chemistry I started a list of things that I don’t find attractive in a man. That list is a biopsy of the Man-child; also described as having the “Peter Pan syndrome”, these guys are undate-able. As a public service I will publish my findings here. Maybe some of these guys will take note and grow up so that I (or any woman worth her salt) can date them.

1)The Man-child lives with his momma.

The only exception to this would be if a man was caring for his parent(s) due to illness or old-age (which would make him compassionate, responsible and date-able). But in all other cases, any man over 25 that sleeps in the same room as when he was 8 is a classic Man-child. Cut the cord already!

2)The Man-child likes to play games.

I’m too old to play any of the following mind games: mixed-signals, crazy jealousy, and cheating. It’s exhausting and I was over that in high school. If you can’t be real and honest then you aren’t tall enough to ride the ride.

3)The Man-child is not socially graceful.

He is likely to be rude to the waitress, my friends and, eventually, to me. Included here is toilet humor, which is funny to my 5 year old son but not funny on a first date. (really guys)

4)The Man-child has no plans.

He is happy to float through life passively, never thinking of the future or learning from the past. This isn’t a money thing for me. It’s about responsibility, living life with passion and having a dream. I don’t care if the guy drives a garbage truck, as long as he loves it and is passionate about being the best garbage-truck-driver he can be.

5)The Man-child is jealous of my other children.

He has no interest in my kids or the fact that I’m a mom but he resents the time I spend with them. It really is like sibling rivalry. Please don’t ask me who I love more because you will lose that contest all day, every day.

Bottom line?

I have three kids at home and I’m not looking to adopt a frat boy with a bald spot. (Bald MEN, however, are sexy) Grow up boys, and you just might get that second date.

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Alex Wise served over 5 years as relationship expert helping women from around the world figure out the men in their love lives from an honest, male perspective. Alex is one of the contributors and editors for dating website. He is passionate about thought leadership writing, and regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and online dating communities.