Dating for me is a means to an end. I want to find THE guy, the right guy, but he’s probably not going to materialize on my front porch with a bouquet of daisies and a ring (sigh). Inevitably I am going to have to weed through a bunch of toads, tadpoles and other assorted amphibians to find my man. So I fight the good fight: dating websites, blind dates, meeting guys around town. I’m not desperate or anything, I just want to meet a nice guy with a great sense of humor and some integrity. Pretty reasonable right?
After a few rounds of lousy first dates and zero chemistry I started a list of things that I don’t find attractive in a man. That list is a biopsy of the Man-child; also described as having the “Peter Pan syndrome”, these guys are undate-able. As a public service I will publish my findings here. Maybe some of these guys will take note and grow up so that I (or any woman worth her salt) can date them.
1)The Man-child lives with his momma.
The only exception to this would be if a man was caring for his parent(s) due to illness or old-age (which would make him compassionate, responsible and date-able). But in all other cases, any man over 25 that sleeps in the same room as when he was 8 is a classic Man-child. Cut the cord already!
2)The Man-child likes to play games.
I’m too old to play any of the following mind games: mixed-signals, crazy jealousy, and cheating. It’s exhausting and I was over that in high school. If you can’t be real and honest then you aren’t tall enough to ride the ride.
3)The Man-child is not socially graceful.
He is likely to be rude to the waitress, my friends and, eventually, to me. Included here is toilet humor, which is funny to my 5 year old son but not funny on a first date. (really guys)
4)The Man-child has no plans.
He is happy to float through life passively, never thinking of the future or learning from the past. This isn’t a money thing for me. It’s about responsibility, living life with passion and having a dream. I don’t care if the guy drives a garbage truck, as long as he loves it and is passionate about being the best garbage-truck-driver he can be.
5)The Man-child is jealous of my other children.
He has no interest in my kids or the fact that I’m a mom but he resents the time I spend with them. It really is like sibling rivalry. Please don’t ask me who I love more because you will lose that contest all day, every day.
I have three kids at home and I’m not looking to adopt a frat boy with a bald spot. (Bald MEN, however, are sexy) Grow up boys, and you just might get that second date.