Since You Love Me, That’s Your Job Now Fella!


I was reading some story recently about this woman who said she uses her man as her personal footwarmer in bed. I can’t remember exactly how she did it, but I remember – though I hope I was daydreaming – seeing the words “feet in his thighs”. Um, no. There’s something that just seems oddly wrong and annoying about a woman using a man’s thighs to warm up her feet.

That got my big wheels to keep on turning. Proud Mary keeps on turning. Rolling. Rolling.

And we’re rolling on.

I can’t tell you how many women I know who believe men’s roles in their life is more utilitarian than anything else. It’s not that you all don’t love us, it’s just that if we are only good for putting food on the table, well we can be fairly useless. And I’m not talking about normal things like killing vermin and fighting off intruders. I’m talking about things you all could easily do yourself but somehow, if a man WON’T do them, he’s useless.

Kind of like warming up your feet. Here are few others.

  1. Changing light bulbs

There’s a reason there are multiple “changing a light bulb” jokes. It’s simple. But I’ve learned that women view this as man’s work. Except, what if the bulbs blow when a dude ain’t home? It’s a freakin’ light bulb. Screw out. Screw in. It’s like sex only with more tangible and positive results. Always.

  1. Driving

Riddle me this, Batman…why for come don’t women ever seem to like to drive? Let me caveat this by saying that I know it’s not all women. But a significant portion of women either really love being chauffeured or are allergic to steering wheels and forward motion. This one has often puzzled me when I have chick friends…just friends…who always want me to drive their nice cars when we go places. It could be a CVS run and I still have to drive.

  1. Walking the dog

Your dog. Your job. You go out in subzero temperatures to let Lovemuffin get some relief.

  1. Getting the car serviced

Hey Batman, I’ve got another riddle. What’s the deal with women in relationships preferring for their chaps to take their cars to get serviced? Oh…right. You all don’t like to drive. Never mind. Silly of me to even ask.

  1. Talking to customer service reps

This could be a personal one because one of my sisters was notorious for snaking me into calling customer service and waiting for 45 minutes to wait while she did other stuff. It got to the point that if she handed me the phone, I’d run like the wind, Forrest.

That’s a fairly solid list methinks. Ladies, are men preferred to do certain things you could do yourself? Do your men make you do things that they feel are women’s work? <—I’ve never actually uttered those words or made my woman do anything I couldn’t do for myself. Thank you. And good night.

Photo by Fancycrave on Unsplash