A few years ago, I was lonely and decided to get good with women. I started talking to them on sidewalks and in malls, practiced hard and eventually became a dating coach. Today, the quest to understand girls is still a big part of my life.
Some people ask me why don’t I just write about meeting and dating the opposite sex. The answer is simple: “There’s a lot more to life than that.”
In fact, there are 4 things that count in a man’s life – and 3 of them have nothing to do with women.
To understand what drives guys, why self-improvement for men is different from general self-help and why my blog will never be about “just dating,” read on.
1. The Opposite Sex
Porn (watched mostly by men) was the #1 online activity until 2010. We’ve also got strip-clubs, thousands of profitable companies that teach guys seduction and a 100$-billion worldwide prostitution industry.
See where I’m going with this?
Men spend lots of money and energy on sex. We also enjoy female company; seek approval from girls; look for a special lady to settle down with.
In short, women are integral to our lives. The need for feminine affection – physical and otherwise – drives us on a very deep level. This is why the inability to get a girlfriend is so frustrating for men – it means a basic desire is not fulfilled.
Just remember that while women are important, they can not make you happy in and of themselves. How do you think some guys end up as dating gurus? They get good with girls, realize there’s more to life and move on to other things – like getting paid!
2. Money
Some men want money for money’s sake; others enjoy the power and possessions cash can buy; the third category simply wants the freedom that financial independence offers. Whatever the case, men like money.
Not only is it a way to buy food, clothes, houses, cars and freedom from working a 9-6 job… It’s the source of a man’s social value.
Remember how I wrote that society judges women for their looks? Well, it does the same for men and money.
If you’re well-off, you’re meeting society’s criteria for what a good, high-value man is. Financially successful guys are desirable to everyone, a lot like hot girls. Money might not buy you love but it will make you well-liked by people.
Ultimately, cold hard cash always matters, no matter how much of it you need or want.
3. Self-Actualization
Self-actualization is living up to your potential; having a kick-ass life full of meaning; doing what makes you happy.
If you’re doing crap you hate and achieving nothing, your life sucks. That’s why you can have sex and money and still be miserable if you’re not self-actualizing.
There’s just something about the triumph of high accomplishment that makes a man’s blood roar in his veins, I guess. Without it, life is just incomplete.
To me, “living up to my potential” is about sports, social psychology and writing. So long as I’m breaking personal records, getting better at meeting people and doing this blog, I love life.
You will find that understanding and fulfilling your potential will make your life awesome, too.
Always look for opportunities to be the best man you can be. Nothing will make you happier.
4. Mental & Physical Health
Being healthy might not make you happy in and of itself, but being unhealthy can ruin your life quickly.
Let’s say you had billions of dollars, a harem of women and a business you love running… But were terminally ill or stressed to the point of complete exhaustion. Would any of those possessions matter? No; of course not.
You should always strive for physical and mental health. They create the platform that allows you to live life fully. Besides, don’t you want to look and feel great as you get older?
Staying healthy isn’t that hard. Just stay active, meditate and avoid overindulging in drugs (this includes caffeine, tobacco and alcohol). No excuses!
About Balance & Self-Improvement For Men
There you have it: the 4 things that count in a man’s life; the things I strive to write about in this blog.
We want sex, female affection and all the stuff money can buy on a primal level. Those are the basic needs and wants.
Self-actualization is a more evolved desire. You might prefer laying on the couch to going for a jog, but doing the hard but necessary things will make you happier in the long run.
Health is the platform that supports everything else.
These gender-specific needs and wants are why you should balance general self-improvement with manly living.
But most importantly, never forget about balance. Don’t fixate on 1 aspect of life at the cost of everything else. You don’t want to be the bald, fat, lonely investment banker who wakes up on his 35th birthday to realize that life has passed him by.
