Why do you Keep Failing in Love?
Have you ever wondered why you keep attracting the wrong men who just treat you bad and disrespect you? Have you ever been in a toxic relationship which destroyed your self-esteem and self-value? Yet, you didn’t see it while you were in the midst of such a bad relationship with your partner.
This blindness left you feeling ashamed and embarrassed. Why wouldn’t it? You are an intelligent woman who has built a successful career, and on the outside, it looks like you have everything going great for you. Why can’t you see the reality just for some stupid reasons?
It is Time For Some Hot Truth
The key reason you keep repeating this egregiously painful pattern in your love life is that YOU are treating YOU bad and disrespecting YOU. What happens is you just keep attracting a mirrored relationship that you have with yourself into your love life. The success that you have accomplished in your career or other areas of your life has nothing to do with it.
You having money in a bank account is not indicative or a reflection of an amazingly intimate and nurturing relationship with yourself. The reason as to why your ex was abusive, never paid attention to you, disregarded your needs, or cheated on you is because you have been doing it all to yourself. He was just a reflection of the relationship that you have with yourself.
Career as a Band-Aid
Quite on the contrary, having success in other areas of your life makes it all so confusing for you to navigate through your love life. In your career, you don’t need to be as vulnerable as you have to be in your love life. Although, if you want to have a passionate and respectful relationship. But here is the secret, the only way for you to have and create a fantastic relationship or marriage is to date yourself for a little bit.
What I see happening in so many women’s’ lives is that they’re so afraid of loneliness that they are in a constant need of a man. They want this man to be capable enough to make them feel complete, desired, feminine or loved.
Stop Chasing The Secret That Doesn’t Exist
There are no shortcuts to building a healthy relationship with a man. You need to feel your own self. Feel the inner girl stuck inside you, who is crying for attention and love from you. But, what you have been doing instead is chasing that attention from men. Although, you should know that it doesn’t work this way. It is because of this reason that you still feel so empty. The person who can give it all to that little girl inside of you is no one else but YOU and ONLY YOU.
Women keep jumping from one relationship to another without taking the time to date themselves, without taking the time to heal and feel the pain. You use your new relationship as a Band-Aid to suppress the feeling of your broken heart. You also cover the pain from childhood trauma that you had experienced, which was triggered by a breakup or divorce.
Are You Whoring Your Love?
Dating is great if you come from a place of abundance, where you love another person because you have an excess of love from loving yourself. No one tells you about the two places from which most people from their love life: marriage or intimate relationships. Let us use half full or empty glass of bubbles as a metaphor.
A first position is a place of abundance. Your glass is full. You take the time to love, accept and trust yourself. Finally, you have so much of self-love that it starts spilling out of the glass. This is where you decide to share it with another person by creating a relationship where you give, celebrate and grow. Unfortunately, this is not how 99% of us build our love lives.
Deep Dive Into Reality of Love Life
The second and more frequent position that most people set off from to build their relationship is scarcity. Your glass is half full. Instead of filling it yourself, you want a man to fill your empty glass for you. You need a man to feel complete, desired and wanted. It is because of your desire to feel complete; you start a relationship.
As a result, you make your intimate relationship a place to take. It turns out as a business venture, rather than being a spiritual and sacred union of two souls. Being in such a weak position, we start whoring for love. Although, by behaving in this manner, you will never feel worthy, loved and alive enough.
If you are in the second position, then you will probably start dating. You will stay in a wrong relationship simply because you are too afraid to be alone. It is exacerbated by the fact that time is flying and almost half of your life is gone now. You are probably even more afraid to stay alone than ever before. Finally, you start living in a constant state of fear and loneliness. A state in which no success in your career will ever compensate for the loss that you bear.