Let’s face it. There are a LOT of things that have to go right in marriage in order to reach a happy intimacy equilibrium. Ladies and their gents both contribute to making things spicy. Likewise, they both do plenty to screw things up.
We talked about some of the just plain dumb things guys do that really guarantee that when they are interested in intimacy, their wives won’t be. Here’s the list.
Gentlemen, your chances of getting lucky with your wife narrow considerably when you:
1. Sit on the couch all day while your wife is doing everything around the house.
2. Don’t help with heavy stuff and watch her struggle with lifting, whether it be boxes or groceries.
3. Go out with your friends more than with her. Bad, bad, bad. The resentment will grow. She will feel like she comes second to your friends.
4. Practice poor hygiene and don’t take care of yourself. You gotta smell relatively good. Women’s olifactory senses are pretty strong.
5. Forget to treat her like a girlfriend or court her. Sorry to break the news to you, but courting never ends. That certainly makes things more interesting.
6. Get mad about stupid things. Or unimportant things. Choose what’s important, and keep the list small (really really small) and manageable. She tries to please. Don’t make her feel bad. If she feels bad, she will not want spice.
7. Put your own needs above her needs or the marriage’s needs most of the time.
8. Only touch, cuddle, or pay attention to your wife when you are interested in sex. This is really really dumb. It screams, “Honey, I am really only interested in one thing. Otherwise, I don’t really find you all that interesting or enjoyable to be with.”
9. Pay more attention to screens – video games, computers, and other stuff. For that matter, bringing video games into the bedroom is a pretty bad idea. (Please tell me that we don’t need to explain why.)
10. Don’t help with the kids. This was a joint production, after all. And those little people require a LOT of work and are rather messy.
11. Disregard things that are important to her. If you discourage her from doing things she loves, she’ll think that you don’t understand her.
12. Criticize her, her friends, her needs, how she spends her time, or her abilities on a regular basis.
13. Don’t appreciate the work that she does.
14. Only take care of your needs when you sleep together.
15. Don’t take the time to get her presents on birthdays/anniversaries/Mothers Day. It just shows her that she is not important enough for you to make the effort. For some ideas on what to do, check out our ebook about great date night ideas. (It’s free and loaded with great reader ideas for fun things to do, both expensive and not.)
16. Blame her for things that are not her fault. Blame is a total total total turnoff (am I being clear enough).
17. Don’t tell her that you love her and that she is beautiful. This, of course, is what most of us need to hear from our men.
Want to know what this whole list says to me? Guys, treat your wife like a girlfriend. Put her first. Help her out. Love her in every way. Be generous with your time and attention. And you shall get your just rewards.
Ladies, feel free to add to the list. I’m sure we’ve missed a bunch of stuff.
