How to Online Date More Safely (Hint – Hire a Spy!)

sex offender

Do you love the thrill of online dating but hate that the person you’re sharing your spaghetti with miiiiiiiiiight be a sex offender?

You’re not alone. The New York Times took a peek into the slew of apps, agencies and laws are springing up to deal with issues like that one.

Companies promising $10 background checks for people who don’t think Google will tell them everything they need to know about that charmer they met on online dating site are just the beginning — apps like Date Check promise to give you the lowdown in the time it takes to go to the bathroom and “redo your lip gloss.”

So now you know that your date might not only be running a background check on you when he goes to the bathroom — he could also be putting on lip gloss in there.

The state of New York passed the Internet Dating Safety Act, which requires dating sites to post helpful common-sense safety tips for their users, like “meet in a public place,” and that goes into effect later this month. So it seems (for residents of New York, New Jersey, and other states with similar legislation) the world of online dating just became a little bit less like the Wild West and a little bit more like someplace where you might not accidentally go out for cocktails with a pedophile. Cheers to that!

Safety First

One of the biggest strength of any online dating service is the anonymity that it provides. Unfortunately, however, this strength is also its biggest weakness. You will never completely know who you’re interacting with until you’ve met and spent some real time with them. This can obviously be dangerous unless it’s handled with real care and consideration. Several online chat rooms have closed because of this very reason.

However, we do believe that using online dating services can be safe and enjoyable, so long as you follow some simple rules and hold your own safety in the highest regard – above all else. If you have to make sacrifices because of this, then so be it. You will find that dating service members will appreciate you taking an interest in your safety, because it adds to the safety of the online dating service community as a whole.

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but follow these points as a base:

  • Never under any circumstances give out your personal details.
  • If another member wants to talk to you by phone, then don’t give out your number. Get the number of the person that wants to talk to you instead. Protect yourself.
  • If you’re not a sceptic, now’s the time to become one. Question everything you read and hear.
  • Never meet someone alone. Preferably go as a member of a group of people.
  • Make use of organised singles events in your area that are specifically organised by the larger online dating services.
  • If you are meeting with someone, you’ll probably be nervous. Never drink alcohol to calm your nerves. Make sure your powers of judgement remain clearly focused throughout.
  • Always be weary of bits of information that seem too good to be true.
  • Never be persuaded to do anything you’re not completely comfortable with.

Use good common sense throughout and you shouldn’t have any problems. The larger dating services such as those featured on the front page of this site really do work very hard to insure that they provide a safe environment for you to enjoy. You are also likely to be provided with more information on insuring your safety after you’ve joined. Be sure to read it all with care. Enjoy online dating! Let’s get on with things…


  1. Next there will be laws requiring bars, bowling alleys, and the checkout line at the supermarket to post “common sense safety tips” on meeting, greeting, interacting with, and dating the people you meet there. . . And why not every workplace in America? After all, those are the places that people have been meeting for decades, even centuries! This type of panic legislation promotes the presumption that a date is more risky than jumping out of an airplane without a parachute. If I did a “background check” on all of my friends, my family, past and potential girlfriends, I’d likely choose to live out my days as a hermit. Instead, I like to meet people, get to know them, learn from them and about them, and make my choices using the best judgment I can muster. I invite them to do the same with me. Some call it trust-building. Imagine that!

  2. my comment on this is it isnt not a 10.00 background check last year i paid over 8000.00 on these so called background checks well all i have on my record is a bogus dui that i was never charged with ive never been to jail or prison im not no sexual predator or a pedophile or anything like that i have gone to my states department of public saftey its called b.c.i its located over 80 miles from my house because there is over 300 empty places to open one closer but the state rather build new doctors offices for the people that have a degree in health care to work because here in utah all the jobs were taken over by other people no from here ive also paid out over 5000.00 on these so called free dating sites but was suckered into paying there fee 20-50 dollars a site ive sent out more than 20000 emails to single gals on those & on craigs list with no luck ive met over 20 in real life all are who still alive & married thanks to that one jackass who killed that girl in new york or whereever it happened you havent heard of another craigslist killer in anyother state have you i had an old friend in prison & he met a gal on there & they live together as where i cant even get a date these days ive been single for 11 years now im not some perv or creep just a regular guy honest kind sweet but ive been used by every gal for cash in an excess of 10000.00 and then told to go to hell because im the bad person go ahead email me anyone i will send you my background info its e h m 1976 at the aol thing i will make my point here all these dating sites are false hopes but if there is any free ones that dont need a credit card to join hit me up im on over 100 of them but i cant afford to fork out 3000.00 for all of them its all a scam !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. As someone that is not Black, I think you are the most ignorant scumbag for feeling you could get online and post such ignorance.

    1) This article is about being safe. If you wanna isolate groups that statistically then why not talk about every single one of them and, even further, break it down by the volume of people. I bet you’ll find that, by volume, there are more white people than Black people that have HIV just by the way the populations are present numbers wise in this country. (and remember, statistics are just that, statistics…you can’t apply those hard numbers to an exact population of people. They are not at all 100% without a margin of error).

    2) Who uses the word ‘Negro’ anymore? This is 2010, not the stone ages

    3) No one is going to listen to this anyway and you’ll remain an ignorant scumbag, but people just have to know this is NOT okay.