We’ve all been warned about characters we should avoid bedding, but what happens when you hit the sack with a great guy — only to discover that the sex stinks.
There are plenty of things that can speed up a relationship’s demise — like cheating, fighting and bad chemistry. And considering just how important sex is supposed to be, it’s no wonder that a bedroom problem can doom a relationship.
So if you’re feeling a guilty thinking about calling it quits with your current flame because he is lacking in the sex department, you’re not alone — we talked to three girls who ended things because of bad booty.
“He Stopped Trying”
“My boyfriend and I had been dating for a year-and-a-half when I started to notice a decline in the amount of sex we had and in the quality of sex on the rare occasions we actually did it,” said Katie, 25. “My boyfriend seemed to think wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am sex was enough to fulfill both our needs.
“I spoke up about my issues with our sex life a number of times, and when nothing changed I had no choice but to break up with him. While sex wasn’t the only problem in our relationship, I couldn’t get over the fact that he was so selfish in the sack and my needs always came second.”
Speedy Suitor
“I was casually dating this guy who I thought I wanted to get serious with, until I found out he couldn’t last more than three minutes in the sack,” said Michelle, 22. “I gave him a few opportunities to improve his moves in the bedroom because I thought the more we did it the longer it would last, but that wasn’t the case, and I don’t want no one-minute man.”
Fetish Freakout.
“My ex-boyfriend and I had a great sex life until four months into the relationship, when he asked me to talk dirty to him, which is something I’m not comfortable with,” said Sara, 24. “I guess he thought it was time to spice things up but I was so turned off that I ended the sex session right then and there and explained to him there was no way I would do that. In return, he confided in me that talking dirty was his biggest turn-on. We had sex a few more times after that, but it wasn’t the same, so we decided to cut our losses and end things.”
Tell us: Have you ever ended your relationship because your sex life was less than great? When did you finally decide that you’d had enough?
Sara sounds like a wet blanket that did her bf the favor by ending things.
Bad sex has killed many of my relationships. Let’s be honest, if it’s good no problem, but if it’s bad PROBLEM! Yes I know it isn’t all about the sex, but in reality bad sex = “Friend Zone”. Never to engage in sexual contact again and we all know it. I’m glad that I’m married to a man that knows exactly how to please me sexually, that dating thing made me get disgusted. It’s amazing how many men don’t have a dayum clue and swear they’re moving the world…SMH! I’ve also heard the horror stories men have told about women who aren’t exactly doing it for them but it’s a hole so why not, until somethng better comes along. Oh well, my sex-life is great, do something if yours isn’t (((wink))).
My man is wonderful!!! Hes gorgeous, sweet, considerate. He cooks everyday..cleans..does the trash..makes my java..brings me water..anything I want…except…he doesn’t like sex! Oh, hes great in the bed. He will do oral anytime..and do it well. But he was abused as a child and thinks that may have affected him. He started out with crazy excuses about an hour before bedtime ( he had been in cleaner that day and his hands smelled of it so no sex tonight baby…or you think you might start your period soon so no sex tonight honey, or you look tired so no sex tonight my love.) just a million different excuses not to have sex. Hes not gay. And I know he truly loves me deeply. Hes even told me he talked to the girls at work and most of them would rather have a good man that holds them after a hard day or cooks for them…and no more sex would be perfect for them! I told him..sorry, but I’m not dead from the waste down yet. I felt mean afterward but I guess I was hurt he was hoping I would be more like them. I am crazy in love with him and other than that little problem..we are perfect together. But I don’t know what to do with this problem. I cant forget my sexual needs…especially now that I’ve faced it..i…ts all I seem to think about now, lol. Oh and this too….he will go all week with just a quick bath..no shaving…totally bummed out when hes home with me..but when he gets ready for work…he showers, shaves, trims his hair perfectly, does his nails..puts on my favorite cologne! Then off to the “girls”. Yep, I kinda resent it. I talked to him about it..he just kinda laughed at me and said he doesn’t want to stink at work. I love him..but I do hope this is something that I will be able to handle better in time.
Terri-
If he’s not gay, he sounds like a keeper! Pressuring him & using other things to assuage him won’t work. I kinda learned the same thing. My hubby & I have been together 5 years & married for 4 & he sounds very similar in nature to your man. I was kinda in similar situation where I am more aggressive & would have done it daily with him, except he doesn’t roll like that. Turns out he is a a very sensitive soul & had to deal with a lot in childhood, as well as mental illness that runs in his family. I kinda knew what I was getting into when I said “I do” and I meant it, but I thought with being married, it’d losen him up…but it didn’t…for 2 years I kinda felt rejected when my hints & advances didn’t yield as much fruit as I thought was “normal”…but then I remembered & thought about all of his MANY good qualities that you can NOT find in 97-98% of the men who ARE straight out there…and that got me to feeling more appreciative of all he is & made me want to help him through any sexual/mental frustrations & upsets he was having. I put aside my needs & wants for a time to recognize what HE was needing & wanting. And the more I did that, the more I discovered him spiritually. Our communication built up rather than hitting a brick wall & one night during an intense conversation, just with so much emotion going on, something clicked between us & from that point on, it’s seemed like we’ve become one complete person in many ways…I became more “docile” and nurturing & he became more connected with me & more “open”, dare I say…aggressive with all levels of us bonding in our love, whether it be verbal, spiritual, or physical communication.
If you hang in there for him & take off the pressure, I think he’ll find the security he may be needing in order to “go there” with you. If he’s a sweet, loving, handsome soul, like my hubby, part of the mental block may be the giving of himself to someone who’ll end up leaving him??? Time for you 2 to really have a soul to soul, as opposed a heart to heart…when you appeal to someone’s soul for THEIR own betterment & not seeking your own needs, you can NEVER go wrong.
Good luck & God bless!
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