The Bitter Sweet Taste of Revenge


Romantic comedies make it look so fun. Gather your girlfriends, buy a bottle of cheap prosecco and give each other facials while you plan the demise of your ex boyfriend. After he’s left with his pants down, you high five each other in victory as you ‘happen’ to bump into a GQ model who smiles and asks you out to coffee.

Boy oh boy are you deluding yourself.

First and foremost, if you’re ever at the point that you want to ‘get revenge’, you often plot it with smeared mascara in the middle of the night, by yourself. Your real friends are no where to be found; instead you’re surrounded by your delusions – egging you on to believe your schemes will get you the kind of happiness you dream of. And most importantly, the numbing of the pain you so strongly feel coarsing through your veins. But is it really a good idea?

The Reality of ‘Revenge’

The goal is to make your ex feel like he made you feel, correct? You want him to suffer the same way you suffered all these long and lonely nights. You may secretly hope that it’ll be the slap he needs to realize he was wrong to hurt you. You’re hoping for that late night phone call, “Hey. I messed up…”  Unfortunately, the sweet taste of revenge, assuming you’re successful in making his life miserable, is short lived. Once the high is over, you’re not only left with the broken heart you had when you started.. but you’ll find that you’ll also now feel like a piece of shit to boot.

Unless you’re born a sociopath, scientifically speaking, you will feel guilt. At first, it’ll be masked by the pleasure of ‘an eye for an eye’.. but stooping down to someone’s shitty level doesn’t make you any better. There is nothing attractive about a spiteful cunt.

As for meeting someone worthy of your love, it’ll make it even harder. You’ll find that the guys worth being with won’t necessarily find your crazy behavior sexy. Remember that guys tend to steer clear of girls that show psychotic tendencies.

So you’ll be  a single, still heart broken, man repellent who feels like shit. Is it worth it?

The Best Revenge

Not all romantic comedies preach the same bullshit; some guide you down the right path. The best revenge you can hand your ex is showing him that you’ve moved on and found true happiness. Get your ass out of bed, wash off that heroin-addict mascara and go pamper yourself. Get started on the break-up healing process on your own; independent of him. The next time he sees you he won’t recognize you. He, on the other hand, will forever be the douche bag who slept with your best friend and dumped you for your coworker.

If you’re still tempted to stoop to loser-level, try the following: Look at the situation objectively. What’s more attractive? A girl who goes depressive-psycho-ape-shit on her ex, keying his car and trying to sleep with all his friends OR a girl who knows her worth, walks away with a smile and looks good doing it?

Remember, you create your own self worth. Be someone others will admire. Be the strength you crave; once you do so, you’ll be able to tap into it whenever times get hard.