The Perfect First-Date Guide: Planning

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A first date makes or breaks the way a woman perceives you. Do well and she’ll be counting days to your next meeting; screw up and you get no second chance.

Now imagine you’re out with a gorgeous girl. You’re vibing; she’s giggling; a real connection is starting to form. With all the touching and flirting, it’s clear she wants you.

How do you make sure every first date goes this well?

Well, you can be like me and meet new women for weeks and months; you’ll “get it” eventually. Or you can improve your girl-skills now by reading the “Perfect First-Date Guide” series.

Today, we’ll discuss planning – the most important part of any date.

Why Thinking Ahead Is Important

“Failing to plan is planning to fail.” – Alan Lakein

When are you meeting? Where are you taking her? Where are you going after that? Are you paying? How are you getting back to your place? What’s Plan B?

You need to answer all these questions in advance. Here’s why:

  1. Planning ahead means no extra thinking on your date.
  2. Knowing what to do and where to go next means you can demonstrate your ability to lead; girls find this very attractive.
  3. Whether you’re looking for a one-night-stand or marriage, you can design the whole date with that purpose in mind.
  4. You’ll be prepared for risks (like a booked-out restaurant) and unexpected events (like rain).

So take the time to plan every first date.

When Do You Meet?

Timing determines the ambiance of your date.

If you want to keep things casual, pick a time that won’t interfere with her social life – or yours. I like lunchtime/after work (workdays) or brunch (the weekend).

Evening dates feel more sexual/romantic, which is good when you want to be more forward. Thursday and Saturday are best, but workdays are cool too.

One thing I avoid is the Friday First Date. First, I usually have plans to spend time with friends and family on the last day of the working week, which means I rarely reschedule for someone I just met.

Second, most girls – especially attractive ones – also have end-of-week plans. So when you say, “Let’s hang out on Friday,” she might think – “Doesn’t he have something else to do?”. And that’s not something you want!

The same thing applies to birthdays, big holidays, etc – reserve special days for people who’ve earned the right to spend them with you, not new girls.

Location, Location, Location

Here are some things to look for when picking a date venue:

1. An Exit Strategy

It’s the first date; for all you know, this girl might be crazy. Pick a place you can leave easily if it comes to that.

2. Open-Ended and Stackable Venues

An “Open-Ended” venue is one you can stay at indefinitely. A restaurant date isn’t open-ended – social norms usually dictate that you leave after a couple hours.

A “Stackable” location means you can switch venues easily to continue the date. A café near a park is stackable because you can go for a walk after coffee.

Stick to locations that have at least one of these qualities so you can control how long the date lasts.

3. Long-Term Affordability

Your dating behaviour needs to be sustainable in the long run.

If you’re meeting lots of women and paying for them, you probably won’t be able to afford treating each one to a nice dinner. In that case, stick to more cost-efficient dates: coffeehouses, picturesque drives, ice-skating, etc.

If, on the other hand, you don’t date regularly – or are out with a special girl – feel free to spend more. In either case, just make sure you can afford the dates you go on and don’t over-invest in new girls.

4. A Place to Talk

One huge first-date mistake guys make is going out to the cinema. Watching a movie with a new person leaves little time to talk and can be awkward.  Stick to places where you can talk freely.

5. Comfort

If you’re a regular somewhere, going there is a great idea. Your date will be impressed by everyone knowing you and you’ll be in your comfort zone; win-win.

Money and Gifts

It’s often expected that a man will pay for his date. Whether you agree or not (I’ll discuss this in more detail later), always have enough money for both of you. Some girls don’t take money to a date, so this’ll keep you out of sticky situations.

Many guys feel obliged to buy something before a date: flowers, a gift, etc. I don’t recommend this; gifts should be special. If you give one to every girl you meet, the gesture loses its meaning.

Conclusion & Ideas

Always design your date with your goal – not circumstances – in mind. If you want to be casual, pick a casual time and place; the same applies to arranging a romantic date.

I strongly recommend finding a few local places and sticking to them. I already mentioned this, but taking a girl to a place where you’re recognized and liked is very powerful.

Here are a few date ideas to get you started:

  • Find a nearby lake or pond; buy a loaf of bread and feed some ducks.
  • If you can find a tea house that does Tea Ceremonies, go there; it’ll be inexpensive, original and great for conversation.
  • If you enjoy shisha/hookah, take a girl to join you in smoking; it’s exotic, not particularly harmful and cheap!
  • Coffeehouses; it’s cliché, but they really do make for great casual dates.
  • My personal favorite – picturesque walks and drives. They’re healthy, quiet, cheap and great for talking.

Feel free to add more ideas in the comments section!