We all have questions that are first date staples, such as ‘What kind of music are you into?’ and perhaps the more unusual ‘If you could be any animal, what would you be and why?’ These kinds of questions encourage conversation and really help you get to know the other person.
On the other hand, there are some questions that should never be asked on a first date (and perhaps any following dates). Here are five questions that are guaranteed to ruin your chances of getting a second date.
1. So, how old are you?
The odd unexpected grey hair or wrinkle isn’t really worth offending your date over, is it? Unless you’re internet dating and your date looks completely different to the photo they posted (maybe you missed the flares and giant flower patterned shirt that gave away their heritage) this question is just plain rude. The answer of course is ‘Why does it matter?’
2. What do you like to get up to in the bedroom?
When a date’s going really well, the sexual tension is crackling and the wine is flowing, it can be tempting to start this conversation. In short, don’t. This is the point at which you need to remember that this person is still a stranger. Maybe alcohol is making you feel more confident than usual, but why risk offending your date? They might not be comfortable talking about the subject, or they might end up thinking you’re only after one thing. Come on, if things go really well you’ll get to find out at some point anyway!
3. What’s your wedding timeline?
First dates should be fun and frivolous; all silly conversations, flirting and giggles. Even if you’re not referring to you and your date specifically, asking questions about their future plans is a big no-no. If you’re asking the question because you’re just interested, think of something else (please!) If you’re asking because you want to know about their views on long-term relationships, try and find more subtle ways to detect this. Looking at their job, living arrangements and lifestyle should give you a good idea of whether your date is looking for something long term or just a bit of fun.
4. Can I borrow some money?
The more sensible of you might think ‘Surely no one ever asks that on a first date?’, but trust us, we’ve heard it all. As we said above, however comfortable you feel with your date, they’re virtually a stranger. Even if you plan on seeing them again, how do they know that? Also, you’re pretty much telling them you don’t know how to take care of yourself, which isn’t exactly an attractive quality.
5. Where have you been all my life? You’re the man I’ve been waiting for!
You should approach every date with the hope that it might lead to something more (otherwise, what are you doing going on a date with that person?) But don’t take this to the extreme; a first good date doesn’t mean this person is the love of your life. Even if you’ve had the best first date ever, hold back from saying anything too cringeworthy. Remember that different people take differing amounts of time to articulate their feelings.