Funny how we hear things we want to hear, and ignore things we wish weren’t true. It’s human nature, we all do it for any number of reasons. The dual lenses of denial and rose-coloring in the bifocal glasses that we all use is particularly distorting in unrequited love. Loved Ones say things we over interpret, they don’t say things because they assume we get the message, and we hear what we want to hear and disregard the rest…
This post is in honor of the fabulously funny Far Side cartoon “Same Planet, Different Worlds”, reproduced below.
This post is for tongue-in-cheek fun, please don’t feel offended if it isn’t reflective of your particular situation.
Same Planet, Different Worlds
| What Loved Ones Say | What We Hear | What Loved Ones Really Mean |
|---|---|---|
| You’re nice. | You’re nice, maybe I’ll become attracted to you in the future. | You’re nice enough but there is no way I’m dating or sleeping with you, ever. |
| I’m not looking for a relationship right now. | You can win me over if you really try. | I’m not interested in you. |
| My life is complicated right now. | You can win me over if you really try. | I’m not interested in you. |
| Hi. | Hi, I’m interested in you but I’m too shy to let it show or there is some other reason I can’t let it show. | Hi. |
| I’m seeing somebody else. | I’m seeing somebody else but I’m really unhappy in that relationship and would like you to rescue me. | I’m reasonably happy in my relationship, and unavailable because of it. |
| I don’t want to ruin our friendship. | I’m really attracted to you, but afraid sex would ruin our friendship. | I’m really not sexually or romantically attracted to you. |
| Really, I’m flattered, but I really don’t think of you that way. | I just need to be nudged over a bit, keep trying. | Would you please stop! |
| You’re a great person, I’m sure you’ll find love soon. | Stop pestering me, you loser! | You’re a good person, I really hope you find love soon (and stop focusing on me!). |
