When Making Room Can Help


MUCH! Finding that happy medium can be hard, as everyone wants extra time with their men/women. It should be said that some relationships could be ruined by this “spending all waking hours and minutes together”. Eventually times wears on you and either one person or both become unknowingly irritated, and in turn; frustrated.

Loving one another makes this touchy subject of Time difficult to tame, because wild as the beast may be (Love), she wants what she wants. Just as in every other aspect of life, a lil’ moderation will do you good. This applies to time spent with a loved one. By forcing this time and these moments on someone, the time together may not be as exciting and certainly not as enjoyable. That doesn’t mean being in a relationship will always be perfect, but making at least a fuzzy line between ‘healthy’ and ‘potentially damaging’ is crucial to lasting success.

My three best:

Space: This is important because both partners need to have a time for themselves, whether they know it or not. It could be an hour a day or a day a week or reversed (1-2 days with their partner and the rest alone), depending on the person. Constantly knowing where the other is; texting; calling; IM’ing; emailing; is really no bueno. This shaves off some of the lacquer that trust has set and will chip not only at that, but at your nerves!

Consideration: This of course if vital. No one likes a grumpy witch! It’s always nice to have someone to comfort you, hug you, console you, but then again, consideration comes in many forms and that could be telling frankly and truthfully your feelings and emotions (good and bad), stating the truths of your realities and more– all of which will benefit the relationship down the road. Little or big, all types of consideration are encouraged.

Effort: Hellooo, is everyone with me? Effort is really what it will boil down to. Different lives, interests, upbringings, etc. Nobody said life would be too easy. And it shouldn’t be. There is greatness in pursuit, whether it is mind-numbing or magnificent. These are common things that make a relationship one to work at/for. Constant shifting in efforts I believe, make for a connection that grows in closeness and strength. Space and consideration, along with effort create a sound and peaceful chord.

Be careful always, “caution” I say once again. Knowing your limits and selves is the main goal. Maybe you do want to spend more time with someone, maybe less. It doesn’t have to be cast-mold. Sometimes more, sometimes less. It evens itself out in due course so you must give it time. Give Time, time… (?!). Laugh not though, because like a wise friend did say “Give me room to breath, cause if I don’t have room to breath I’ll make room to run!” Point taken.

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Alex Wise served over 5 years as relationship expert helping women from around the world figure out the men in their love lives from an honest, male perspective. Alex is one of the contributors and editors for Loveawake.com dating website. He is passionate about thought leadership writing, and regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and online dating communities.